You know the kind of person who just seem to be awesome no matter what the situation is? The person who always wins without a doubt? Yeah, that's me! Ever since I was born people have always looked at me and said; "Wow, I would love to be you!".
I remember when I met Barack Obama and he cried over the fact that he is nothing compared to me, later that day when I was in my house making a fantastic piece of toast it suddenly came to me - I should share my awesomeness with the world! God however didn't approve of my idea, he told me "You are the most awesome person in the world, I created you and only you with this much awesomeness! If I wanted everybody else to be like you I would have simply made them like you, that would have been impossible though because more than one incredible awesome person would have imploded the world." so then I just ate my piece of toast and went to sleep.